Squirrel Attack (Humor)
Laelanna softly says, "You're quiet." You grin. You say, "I was, uh..." You say, "Staring at that can." You point at a large scorched trash can. You say, "Yea..." You exclaim, "Staring!" Laelanna removes some calamia fruit from in her grosgrain pouch. Laelanna laughs softly, trying to hide her amusement. You get the sudden feeling that the can is staring back. You say, "Umm." You scowl at a large scorched trash can. You exclaim, "Stop staring at me!" Laelanna softly says, "Thought I'd help stock the bench." You pound a large scorched trash can with your fist, but it doesn't seem to care.� Typical can! You hear a sudden rattling from the bottom of the trash can. Laelanna blinks. You exclaim, "Oh geez!" Laelanna softly asks, "Whats in there?" You sneak up to a large scorched trash can. The scorched trash can is filled with a variety of garbage.� You see nothing useful or appetizing. Laelanna softly asks, "You woke the monster didn't you?" You exclaim, "I dunno!!" Your eyes widen as you tremble in quiet panic. You exclaim, "It was looking at me!" Laelanna scowls at you. You exclaim, "I sweaR!" You kneel down. You stare at a large scorched trash can. You slowly and deliberately empty your filled lungs. You ask, "Maybe it was our imagination?" You stand back up. Laelanna softly says, "Now watch, something is going to come out and eat you." You adopt an agreeable expression. You say, "Had to be." Speaking to Laelanna, you ask, "Wait, wut!?" Laelanna removes some calamia fruit from in her climbing pack. You take a few steps back. Laelanna glances at you. You glance at a large scorched trash can. Laelanna softly says, "You woke the monster." Laelanna put some calamia fruit in her grosgrain pouch. Laelanna examines her fingernails. Speaking to Laelanna, you cry, "I dun wanna die!" A squirrel suddenly leaps out of the trash can onto your head!� You stumbles backwards in panic as the squirrel bounds onto the statue and disappears into a nearby tree. You exclaim, "Ack!" Laelanna raises her voice in merry laughter. Laelanna softly says, "See, I told you." You say, "Where did it go." You flail your arms about. You gasp in terrified panic, trembling and flailing your arms about! You scream! You belt out, "Help!" Laelanna softly says, "Its hiding in the trees now." You don't find anything of interest here. Roundtime: 3 sec. Laelanna softly says, "Just waiting." (Dhask glances up at some of the nearby trees.) A large acorn suddenly smacks you in the center of the forehead.� It came out of nowhere! Laelanna snickers. You angrily exclaim, "Oh, what the hell!" (Dhask rubs his forehead.) You frown. Speaking to Laelanna, you ask, "Where did it come from?" Laelanna softly asks, "The squirrel? or the nut?" You say, "The acorn..." You say, "If I see that rodent..." Laelanna softly says, "Apparantly one from near the well decided to munch in the trash can." You raise a balled fist menacingly while taking one step slowly forward. A bushy-tailed squirrel runs across the park and snatches up some of the leaves. Laelanna softly says, "No, I'm trying to make a stock for the bench." You exclaim, "It's after the herbs!" Laelanna softly says, "Maybe you hurt it." You exclaim, "It stole the ambrominas!" You belt out, "Give it back!" You hear a chittering from the top of one of the trees.� It sounds pleased. You say, "Oh my sweet Charl..." You pound a large scorched trash can with your fist, but it doesn't seem to care.� Typical can! You exclaim, "Bad squirrel!" Laelanna looks over at you and shakes her head. Laelanna murmurs a simple, mystical chant... Laelanna gestures. Some acantha leaf suddenly appears at your feet. You glance at some acantha leaf. You casually glance around the area. Laelanna removes some acantha leaf from in her grosgrain pouch. You glance around the areaward. You glance around the area. You slowly and deliberately empty your filled lungs. Speaking to Laelanna, you say, "You're my proof when I re tell this story that a squirrel leapt from the can and tried to attack me." Laelanna unfastens the pale blue moonstone clasp at her throat, opening her velvet cloak. You nod to Laelanna. Laelanna glances at you. Laelanna softly says, "I didn't see a thing." You scratch your ear. You hear a rustling in the trees directly overhead. You glance upward. Laelanna softly says, "Oh wait, I did see you terrified of a little squirrel." Laelanna nods to you. You sneak around behind a canopied pine peddler's cart. You glance at Laelanna. You shake your head. Laelanna removes some cactacae spine from in her climbing pack. Laelanna drops some cactacae spine. You do your best to conceal some cactacae spine. You exclaim, "Don't tempt it!" Kamaria just arrived. You glance at Kamaria. Laelanna softly asks, "Think that should do for awhile?" Laelanna peers quizzically at you. You say, "I was attacked..." Laelanna smiles at Kamaria. Kamaria raises an eyebrow in your direction. You nod to Laelanna. Something wet and nasty falls from the tree.� You try to move your head, but are a fraction too slow.� Ew. You groan. Laelanna glances over at you and winces. Laelanna softly says, "Ew." Kamaria ponders. You belt out, "Oh now that did it!" You pound a weatherworn grey marble statue with your fist, but it doesn't seem to care.� Typical statue! Kamaria furrows her brow. Speaking softly to Kamaria, Laelanna says, "He's terrified of squirrels, apparantly." Kamaria says, "That was sort of gross." You hear a squirrel chittering from the top of the tree.� It sounds suspiciously like laughter. Kamaria ponders. Kamaria yawns. (Dhask wipes his face and hair with his cloak.) Kamaria just went north. Something dribbles down the back of your neck. You look around, a disdained expression on your face. Great Lady Llygoden just arrived. You grit your teeth. Llygoden squeals. You scowl at Llygoden. Llygoden gasps. Llygoden stares at you. Laelanna smiles at Llygoden. Llygoden scowls. You say, "I have something wet...sliding down....my neck...." Llygoden asks, "Ew?" You narrow your eyes. Llygoden cocks her head at you. You pull a blackened steel hoolurge gracefully from your tube. You move into an offensive stance, ready for battle. You hurl a blackened steel hoolurge at the grey marble statue.� It bounces harmlessly aside. You pull a blackened steel hoolurge gracefully from your tube. You hurl a blackened steel hoolurge at the raffle table.� It bounces harmlessly aside. You pull a blackened steel hoolurge gracefully from your tube. You hurl a blackened steel hoolurge at the cactacae spine.� It bounces harmlessly aside. You pull a blackened steel hoolurge gracefully from your tube. Llygoden ponders. You hurl a blackened steel hoolurge at the scorched trash can.� It bounces harmlessly aside. You pull a blackened steel hoolurge gracefully from your tube. You hurl a blackened steel hoolurge at the pine peddler's cart.� It bounces harmlessly aside. Llygoden says, "Cut it off." Llygoden nods to you. Ooh!� That felt great! (Dhask attempts to wipe the back of his neck.) (Dhask glances at his hand.) You feel the blood drain from your face. You wring your hands. Laelanna laughs softly, trying to hide her amusement. Llygoden splutters. Llygoden says, "Ewwww." You begin to mope around, feeling very sorry for yourself. Speaking softly to you, Laelanna says, "Next time, you'll think twice about making the squirrels angry." Llygoden flicks her wrist and lets her watered silk fan fall into her hand. Llygoden lightly fans herself with her watered silk fan. Speaking to Laelanna, you exclaim, "The trash can was staring back at me!" Laelanna shrugs her shoulders, lifting her wings slightly. (Llygoden moves to stand upwind of Dhask.) Llygoden moves to a kneeling position. Llygoden crawls over to a large scorched trash can. Llygoden moves to a sitting position. Llygoden lightly fans herself with her watered silk fan. Laelanna softly says, "I think you need a bath." Llygoden ponders. Llygoden stands up. You mutter, "I think I need a bath..." Speaking to you, Llygoden says, "You wait here." Llygoden nods. Great Lady Llygoden just went north. Great Lady Llygoden just arrived. Llygoden frowns. Llygoden stares upward. Llygoden says, "Things being thrown at me now." You glance upward. Llygoden mumbles something that you don't quite catch. Great Lady Llygoden just went north. Laelanna flutters her wings lazily. Great Lady Llygoden just arrived. Llygoden sniffs at you. You quietly sniff at yourself.� You *think* you smell okay, but then, doesn't everybody? Llygoden waves an aquamarine wand at you. Water sprays forth and scours you clean! A splash of water hits you squarely, drenching you from head to toe! You cough. Llygoden waves an aquamarine wand at you. Water sprays forth and scours you clean! A splash of water hits you squarely, drenching you from head to toe! Llygoden sniffs at you. Laelanna laughs! Llygoden holds up her hand and tilts it side to side in a so-so gesture. Llygoden waves an aquamarine wand at you. Water sprays forth and scours you clean! A splash of water hits you squarely, drenching you from head to toe! Llygoden adopts an agreeable expression. Llygoden put an aquamarine wand in her spidersilk backpack. Llygoden sits down. Llygoden lightly fans herself with her watered silk fan. You rub your black eyes in an effort to refresh them. Llygoden lightly fans you with her watered silk fan. Llygoden says, "Now to dry you off." (Dhask wrings his cloak.) Llygoden flicks open her fan with a casual flick of her wrist. Llygoden lightly fans you with her watered silk fan. Llygoden flicks open her fan with a casual flick of her wrist. Llygoden lightly fans you with her watered silk fan. Llygoden nods. Llygoden reaches over and gently rests her hand on your arm. Llygoden says, "Still a little damp, but not bad." Llygoden flicks open her fan with a casual flick of her wrist. Llygoden lightly fans herself with her watered silk fan. You glance upward. You say, "Nasty little rodent." Llygoden says, "Tree rat." Llygoden nods to you. You exclaim, "Tree....cat!" You nod to Llygoden. Laelanna softly says, "You're just tempting it, you know." Llygoden shudders. Llygoden says, "Ew." Llygoden stares upward. Speaking to you, Llygoden asks, "You really think so?� Cats?" Llygoden shudders. Llygoden removes a green lace parasol with a carved orchid-motif handle from in her spidersilk backpack. Llygoden raises her lace parasol skyward! You nod to Llygoden. You chuckle at Llygoden. Llygoden says, "Burn them out." Llygoden nods. Llygoden utters a light chant and raises her hands, beckoning the lesser spirits to her aid... Llygoden gestures at you. Llygoden hurls a roaring ball of fire at you! � AS: -30 vs DS: +318 with AvD: +48 + d100 roll: +23 = -277 �� A clean miss. Llygoden coughs. Llygoden says, "Sorry." Llygoden grins. >chuck You chuckle. An acorn flies down and bounces off Llygoden's parasol. Llygoden frowns. You blink. Laelanna grins. You exclaim, "We're going to be attacked!" You sit down near Llygoden. Llygoden utters a light chant and raises her hands, beckoning the lesser spirits to her aid... Llygoden gestures. A flare leaves Llygoden's hand and shoots up into the sky where it hangs for a few moments before exploding into a breathtaking array of colors. The sheer brightness of the image before you lingers in your sight for several seconds after the explosion can no longer be seen. Llygoden adopts an agreeable expression. You exclaim, "Hah!" You exclaim, "That will show em!" Llygoden mutters something about acorns. Llygoden snorts. Llygoden scoots over to you. (Llygoden holds her parasol up to cover both herself and Dhask) Llygoden sticks out her tongue and lets loose with a loud, "Thbtbtbtbt" from her lips! Llygoden says, "Take that, tree cats." You adopt an agreeable expression. Category:Humor